Custom Search
Review Shadow's Far-Out Corner of the Web at Blogging Fusion Blog Directory

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Some things simply aren't meant to be...

Some things are simply not meant to be:
cats cannot have puppies, humans cannot have kittens, and my family cannot keep a gazebo on our deck.

Roughly two months ago (actually, probably closer to one month ago), we got the same great idea we get every year:
"Let's get a gazebo"...
And, roughly two months ago (actually, probably closer to one month ago), we had the same discussion we have every year:
"Should we get one with a mesh shelter?", "Nah, mosquitoes or bees may get trapped inside... or worse yet, mosquitoes and bees may get trapped inside... or hornets!"...
Anyway, we came to the same conclusion we reach every year... we purchased a cheap moderately priced, steel market gazebo (similar to the one shown below, but not quite as nice) - no mesh net.
Since this is an annual tradition in our house, we assembled the gazebo without a problem. Of course, we live in a place that is either shrouded with heavy fog, or beat to hell by heavy winds. So, a couple days later we packed up our little gazebo and returned it to the store, picking up another little gazebo... the exact same model (yeah, I never claimed to come from a smart family)! In fact, I don't think I need go into detail about what happened to the second gazebo (you could probably guess and you would probably be correct).
By chance, dad and I were browsing through a liquidation centre we have in town and we stumbled across an "easy-up", or "scissor-up", market gazebo (which is actually the exact same as the picture shown below) - all we had to do was take it out of the box and stretch it out. The gazebo was seemingly sturdy, so we were easily sold (and satisfied)!
So, last week we assembled our brand spankin' new easy-up gazebo, sat back, kicked up our feet and enjoyed the shelter. Friday, however, was filled with off-and-on heavy showers downpours... so yesterday, dad and I just finished bending our ultra-sturdy gazebo as close to its original shape as possible, crammed it into the box, and returned it to the liquidation centre (well, dad returned it... I wrote this).

I shared a popular quote when I started this post: "some things are simply not meant to be". But, since I have a funny feeling I'll be able to write about gazebo number four by the end of next week, I think a more appropriate quote would be "some people never learn"!

If you so much as cracked a smile while reading this, please mosey on over to www.humor-blogs.com and cast a vote for this blog. I promise I'll be your very best friend!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Genetically Modified Poetry...

Modified, processed, rehydrated, and fried,
Quick to go, great late at night!
Palm, olive, coconut, and vegetable based,
Grease up your food, then plug up your face!
Antibiotics, pus, fat, and growth hormones,
Straight from the teet and into your home.
Salmonella; e-coli; cholesterol; trans,
Why isn't all of this shit we eat banned?
Don't light up tobacco, don't lie under the sun,
When you can just choke to death on a sesame bun!

Oh yeah, and if you like my blog, please vote for me at www.humor-blogs.com

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A Quick Howdy Ho...

I'm coming up with some stuff to write... very shortly! Although, it has just come to my attention that my site has been coming up as a fraudulent website (on my mother's computer) - so, if this is happening to anyone else, please, please, please leave a comment and let me know (or fire me off an e-mail at shadow.x.crystal@gmail.com, if commenting isn't your thing). If this is happening for anyone else, I think I can solve the problem... I've recently added "Google Analytics", which gives me info such as where people come from and what search terms they used... but, if that's telling people my site is full of tracking cookies, well, I'll ditch the service.

In the meantime, please enjoy the musings of some of my favourite bloggers:

Ivyology
Crotchety Old Man Yells At Cars
Rob's Megaphone
Letter's Home to You
Nanny Goats in Panties
Of Cabbages and Kings
A Little Piece of Me

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Doodle Vacation

So, I still don't have much to write... but, not to worry, I am setting aside a couple of hours to clear my head, so the stories shall return. In the meantime, enjoy my dream vacation (okay, so it's not my dream vacation, but it is a vacation I would love nearly as much)... a quiet, private beach, with a nice, long book.

And yeah, this looks pretty horrible... but, it was done on my laptop (using the mousepad, not an actual, separate, mouse). And yeah... I know... it probably wouldn't be much better if I had a mouse, but ya gotta let me have some excuse!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Doodle Flower Garden



Okay, so this is a pretty sad flower garden...


I swear, I'm not as dark as I doodle... seriously.

If my blog ever makes you laugh, please mosey on over to Humor-Blogs.com to show your support.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Spoilsbury Toast Boy (-1)

As promised, I present to you:

Spoilsbury Toast Boy -1



Created by David Firth (click here to visit his site)

Oh yeah, and if you like Shadow's Far-Out Corner of the Web, please visit Humor-Blogs.com to vote for this blog.

Doodle Bug! (Kick-Off to Doodle Week)

Okay, so technically it's tomorrow, but I'm posting as though it's today... after all, I'm still awake. I would have posted earlier, but I was busy, busy, busy (seriously, I had to rush to vote since I forgot our ward election was tonight, then I had to get some shopping done, then housework and a shower)!
Today is the first day of Doodle Week (links will be posted tomorrow, when I am on my own computer... I'm using my parents' computer to type this up right now, since I used their scanner to upload my doodle bug).
As you can see, I'm not one for doodling bugs... but, I'm pleased with what I came up with... as 'sucky' as it looks, I have grown to like it (within the hour or so since I finished it). Alas, it is more of a drawing than a doodle...

I promise I won't cheat tomorrow... my post will be pure doodle. Enjoy... and send me the links to your doodles!

(the lyric is stolen from Tori Amos' "Butterfly"... and was added in photoshop - my handwriting is atrocious)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Hello all,

As you can see, it's been pretty dead here lately. It won't remain that way, but there will be some changes.

Now that I'm working, I don't have all day to sit around and think of things to write about... and, I really didn't feel like filling this blog up with a load of junk (e.g., poorly written stories just so I can stick with the schedule). So, I will no longer be promising to post daily... and I will not be sticking to any particular schedule. The current setup will remain and the categories will not be changed, although, I will be writing what I want, when I want... which really is better, 'cause I write much better when I write spontaneously. Also, since my entries will be more spontaneous, there is a good chance some more categories will be added to the already existing catalogue.

I know change is hard folks, but stick around and I'm sure you'll like what you see... if anything, it will be better than the odd, poorly thrown together entries I've been posting lately. I would rather provide quality than quantity, and I'm sure you would all agree.

You may have noticed the advertisement I have on the sidebar for Doodle Week. I will be participating and I will try to have a fresh doodle for every day... if you blog, you really should get in the action (click here to find out more).

And, keeping with my promise, I will still be posting the second part of Spoilsbury Toastboy, by David Firth, on Tuesday, July 15th. As for the new fiendish feature? Well, as you can see from the votes, there was a bit of a tie... so, in keeping with the pace of the announcements I just gave, you'll get a bit of everything.

Thanks to everyone who's stuck with this blog so long... I look forward to providing you with many more interesting posts!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Spoilsbury Toast Boy (Part 2?)

This just plain creeps the hell out of me...



Check back next week for Spoilsbury Toast Boy Part 1 (yep, it was created in reverse order)
If you can't wait; if you simply need more David Firth RIGHT NOW, well, please check out his site.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Puppies Don't Like Pot!

*disclaimer* - I know people get their pets high on all kinds of drugs, but for simplicity's sake, I'll just be discussing marijuana.

Plain and simple, pot is not for pooches.

We wouldn't think of getting our children high (with the exception of a few nut-jobs), but many of us do not even hesitate when it comes to sparking up sparky. If you're one of those people, perhaps it would interest you to know cannabis does not have such a pleasant effect on our canine friends. If inhaled, cannabis will likely irritate the throat of your dog. The effect will be similar to the effect on humans, but the difference is that you chose to get high; your dog did not.

If, however, your dog ingests marijauna by eating it (even as little as a few grams... which sounds like a lot, but wouldn't take long for Fido to finish), the effects can be much more serious, including (but not limited to): vomiting, incoordination, urinary incontinence, and rarely, seizures or death (I sure as hell wouldn't want to risk my dog being the rare case).

It's pretty simple: dope hurts dogs.

As for the rest of our housepets?

Well, there is no evidence to suggest marijuana has a harmful effect on felines, but you can still gaurantee the smoke would irritate their little throats. And, just as with dogs, you're really not giving your cat any choice in the matter when you blow smoke in his or her face. Catnip, not cannabis, I say!

As for those who would even entertain the thought of smoking up their rodent, reptile, bird, or other small animal... well... they do not deserve pets. C'mon, they have tiny little lungs!

So, just because your pet is stumbling around and looks 'chill', it doesn't mean your pet is happy. Our pets can't tell us "hey, I don't like that!", so it's ridiculous to assume that they do like getting high. If you never smoked pot, you wouldn't know what you were missing, so what makes you think your pet is happier for getting high?

Blowing smoke in your animals face is akin to dropping acid in someone's drink.

Oh yeah, and if you like my blog, please show me the love and click on my link for Humor Blogs. Every visit from here to www.humor-blogs.com counts as a vote!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

The Cider House Rules: A Review


Released during the year 2000, The Cider House Rules travels back in time by a few years, but deals with issues that could more like be considered current whether the year is 1943 or 2043.

Homer Wells (Tobey Maguire) is a wonderful person who was raised in a New England orphanage, under the wing of Dr. Wilbur Larch (Michael Caine). Set during the Second World War, The Cider House Rules follows the story of a young man, who is setting out to discover himself, while also (quite eloquently) touching on the issue of abortion, shedding a positive light on the respect for a woman's choice.

Homer, yearning to become a man, leaves with Wally Worthington (Paul Rudd) and his partner Candy Kendall (Charlize Theron) after they arrive at the orphanage so Candy undergo a safe abortion. After arriving at Wally's family apple farm, Homer earns his keep and lodging in the cider house by working on the farm. During his stay at the apple farm, Homer learns a lot about life, morals, compassion, and love, especially as he is allowed more time with Candy after Wally leaves for war.

This is one of the few movies I have absolutely no problem with; in my opinion, everything about this movie is perfect. Here's the trailer, but if you haven't seen this, I suggest you wander to your local video store and pick up a copy tonight.



Oh yeah, and if you like my blog, please show me the love and click on my link for Humor Blogs. Every visit from here to www.humor-blogs.com counts as a vote!

Come Into My Room: Project Complete


Well, one journey comes to an end. I apologise for neglecting this blog as of late, but I've finally got back into my blogging 'groove'. Rather than drag the cleaning of this room out for the next few weeks, however, I decided it was too much of a waste of time... it made little sense to divide the small amount that was left into three more features. So, as you can see, everything came together.

If you're disappointed about my decision to not go on and on about my bedroom for the next three Wednesdays, well, I'm sorry... for more reasons than one.

My study corner, art cabinet, and cedar chest are no longer cluttered and inaccesible. Although, I'm sure you've noticed I have bit of an unhealthy obsession with candles.

There has also been a huge improvement with the organisation of my bookshelves and entertainment centre. The rainbow flags are not exactly my choice of decor (I love them, but they're slightly loud for my room), but I don't have much else to use in place of the missing cabinet doors.

And, finally, everything has a spot. I'm still not too happy with the cheesy knick-knacks littering the shelves of my entertainment centre, but I will get to those as I find places for them. I am, however, in love with my 'coffee table'... drink tray and all! And, I found a nice home on the wall for my witch dagger. The dagger is actually the witch's hat... it pulls out!

I'm also quite thrilled with my 'spiritual corner' and my nightside table, but I felt no need to post pictures - some things must remain sacred and private.

I hope you all enjoyed your stay in my bedroom... check back for tomorrow's poll since I'll be giving the options for the next fiendish feature - it will be all up to you, folks!

If you like my blog, please show the love and click on this link for Humor Blogs. Every click-through to www.humor-blogs.com is a vote!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Shadow's Far-Out Corner of the Web Wins Arte y Pico Award

A big thanks to Rob’s Megaphone for awarding me with the ‘Arte y Pico’ Award. I am quite honoured to be recognised by Rob's Megaphone, and I hope you visit him by clicking here.The rules of the Arte y Pico award require me to similarly award five noteworthy blogs, meaning this award is more viral and link-building, which is only a good thing.

I am very pleased to pay the pico forward. The five blogs to which I am awarding the Arte y Pico award, for their wonderful support and genuine blogtastic spirit are, in no particular order;

1. Crotchety Old Man Yells at Cars
2. Ivyology
3. Letters Home
4. Nanny Goats in Panties
5. Retail Hell(ish)

The Rules thanks to arteypico.blogspot.com:

Rules:

1) You have to pick 5 blogs that you copnsider deserve this award, creativity, design, interesting material, and also contrubuites to the blogger community, no matter of language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award-winning, has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog thathas given her or him the ward itself.

4) Award-winning and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y pico”blog , so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5) To show these rules.

Oh yeah, and ff you like my blog, I'd like to see the love. Please click here to visit Humor Blogs - each click is a vote.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Happy Canada Day, ya idiots!


I hope everyone is having a truly wonderful Canada Day... if you're not from Canada, well, sorry... I'm only giving my good wishes to fellow Canadians. Also, if you're not from Canada and got offended by that last comment, you must be an idiot... and I don't want idiots reading my blog anyway. Or at least, not just any idiot. The only idiots allowed here are Canadian idiots.

This being said, please enjoy this hilarious video: Canadian Idiot by Weird Al (at least, I hope that's who sings it... wouldn't I feel like an idiot if it wasn't?)


If you like my blog, I'd like to see the love. Please click here to visit Humor Blogs - each click is a vote.