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Monday, June 16, 2008

Disgruntled Good Guys gone Bad - or - Cops Gone Outta Control!

Groups of former police officers from all around the nation have been violently banding together, after being discharged from their former positions. Due to new legislation, a weight restriction has been placed on public service workers, forcing plus-sized patrolmen to shape up or ship out. In response to these regulations, former law-men have been performing illegal acts, protesting the laws they once enforced - they call themselves the "Porky Pigs".We were able to reach Constable Jim Jackoff for questions. Constable Jackoff, who once worked closely with some of the members of the now "Porky Pigs", told us: "I understand where these people are coming from, and they have my sympathies. These people are rebelling because they feel they have been discriminated against, but what they fail to realise is that they were given their jobs with the commitment to protect and to serve. Unfortunately, their weight was prohibiting them from fulfilling their commitment."

Jonathan Joker, however, a former Sheriff in Dinglebat Grove and current member of the "Porky Pigs", claims his dismissal, as well as the dismissal of other peace officers, was purely discriminatory. Mr. Joker also told us Constable Jim Jackoff was "lyin' through his teeth", informing us of the fact that he was the greatest Sheriff in his jurisdiction, "having caught twice as many criminals in one day as the new kid they got in there catches in a month". We were told, however, that the "Porky Pigs" would dis-band if all members were offered a public apology, as well as the return of their jobs. Of course, in this nation, we know the higher-ups will never admit error or defeat.

If there's one thing everyone agrees on, current and former police officers, the "Porky Pigs" will be around for quite some time - after all, they know the tricks of the law.

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by R.A.N.G.E (Raving About Nothing Good... Ever)


Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Jim Jackoff? You're killing me! LOL!

Thank you for visiting my blog and rooting for me on Humor Blogs! You're the best! XOXOXO!!


Pelster said...

I am a little bit confused. Is this actually true? If it was, I would pay so much to see the Porky Pigs.

I know very few humorous blogs. Well done!

Da Old Man said...

So, you are suggesting donuts may not be the breakfast of champions?

~*~Shadow.Crystal~*~ said...

Alas, unless otherwise noted, my news stories are false.